LAX, I'd rather take my jet pack: Part 1


This morning I woke up bright and early ready to head home to Atlanta after a fun-filled crazy two months in Los Angeles. I should have known due to the lack of strugs this week that I had to end my experience here with a bang. Well, a strug-bang.

I'm sitting here right now in LAX at my gate. I will be sitting here for about four(ish) more hours. No, I did not get here obnoxiously early. In fact, I missed my flight.

I guess you could say this all started with returning my rental car. The plan was to return it yesterday, but I being a disorganized spastic packer, did not follow through with the original plan. I decided that I'd return my car in the morning when Enterprise opened at 9am and then go to the airport at around 9:30am to catch my 11:45am flight. I woke up at 7 and was ready to go by 9. I called Enterprise at 9am and there was no answer, so I decided to head over there anyway.

When I got to Enterprise, there was a chain lock on the front door and a sign that said that certain location was closed on the weekends and to go to the other location in Studio City a few minutes away. It was about 9:15 when this happened, so I was already cutting it pretty close. I'm sitting there thinking, It would be really nice if someone told me this! And I headed over to the other location.

Once I got to the other location, I was helped pretty quickly. Then they had to file an accident report because apparently some plastic thingy was jacked from my rearview mirror...?? I literally had no idea what she was talking about. I just wanted to return my car, go back to the Oakwoods apartments, and head over to LAX. By the time I got to the Oakwoods, it was already 10am. I always get to the airport early, and I knew I'd be cutting it close, so I was semi-freaking out.

When we got to LAX, I had to wait in line to get to the Skycap dude. I was basically about to have an anxiety attack. A woman ahead of me had overweight bags and was veeerrryyyy sloooowwwllyyy moving her stuff around. I was so close to doing it for her, I'm not kidding.

I finally got to the Skycap and the guy tells me I missed the cutoff time for the flight by FOUR MINUTES...oh and PS my bags are 3lbs overweight. The guy tells me to go to the red sign that says "Special Services" and to hurry up.

There I am, navigating through the airport, trying to find some red sign that says "Special Services" with two HUGE rolly bags, a duffel bag, my laptop bag, and my huge purse that might as well count as a duffel bag too. I look like a bag lady. Or really high maintenance. I wish I had a sign that said, "Don't judge guys, I've been living in LA for two months, what do you expect? I have my whole life in here".

I get to special services, and there are like 3 line things going on; I ask this woman for help and she tells me to get in the long line...At this point I am confused, delirious, and running on 3 hours of sleep so I seriously would have probably burst out crying if someone asked me to borrow a pen. Here I am, waiting in line, surrounded by anyone and everyone who needs "special services": unaccompanied minors, people with dogs, other confused people...it took me about 30 minuets to figure out what the heck this line was even for and why I was in it, because literally none of the Delta people were being helpful or answering my questions. One Delta lady was walking around asking if people were on the one o'clock flight to Atlanta, and I tried to get her attention so I could understand what the heck was going on, and she literally IGNORED me. Like she purposely glazed her eyes over my face. Not cool, lady. I finally got her attention the second time she came around, and said, "I'm supposed to be on the 11:45 flight to Atlanta and they told me to come here...??" and she responded, "Yeah, you're late. Wait in the line".

Okay, girl, I am "late" because I've been standing in this line awkwardly moving my seven hundred bags forward bumping into people because the Skycap dude told me to come here. I was actually not technically late for my flight and I'm missing it because you guys are disorganized and retarded. Yeah, I know I should have gotten here earlier, but I'm a huge struggle and returning my car took forever, so I got here FOUR MINUTES too late. I will gladly put on my jet pack (god, I wish I had one of those) and fly to my fricking gate if it makes it easier for you. As a matter of fact, I'll take my jet pack and fly to Atlanta because this airline is a waste of space.

God, I wish I said that.

So I waited in line, slowly accepting that I would have to hop on the next available flight and just get over it. I finally moved up in line after waiting for an hour, and I told the customer service guy about my situation and I was like, "I guess I was too late, whatever, I just need to get home". He took my id and looked up my information, and was staring at his computer for what seemed like FOREVER. He then tells me the only flight he can put me on is at 4:50pm flight and it gets in at midnight. Miraculously my bags weren't overweight (I took my notebook out of the bag that weighed 53 lbs earlier), and I didn't need to stress about a $90 charge. As I left the guy told me, "Well, at least you wont be late for this flight".

That's for sure.

...to be continued


namaste,
Elise