Start Fresh

A big part of why I write my blog is to preach self-acceptance and to use my experiences (which are often strugs) to come to a new level of that self-acceptance and awareness. But I'm not always so good at practicing what I preach. I'm human. Writing this blog has helped me come to a new comfortability with myself and have a few laughs along the way. However, I think it's easy to get caught up in life and forget the things we've learned and taught ourselves. Then all of a sudden a light bulb turns on and we realize that all the stress and anxiety we've been experiencing lately has been brought on by our own thoughts and false realities.

I realized the other day that I've spent this past semester concerning myself with other people's perceptions of who I am. I've wasted so much time asking why I didn't get this opportunity or why I got that criticism or waiting around for someone to give me answers. By worrying so much about pleasing other people, I gave up on myself along the way. A lot of things I was blaming on senioritis were just a cover for me not pushing myself hard enough to be proud of my own accomplishments. Realizing this, I looked at myself and thought, Elise! What have you been doing?

The whole "caring about what other people think" is not a new concept by any means. And who knows if anyone actually can come to a point where they truly don't care. I don't think it's really "not caring" that matters, it's how you treat yourself. What's important is to stay true to yourself and do things for you, not other people. And that's not easy to do. The more concerning I do with what people think of me, the more negativity I create in my mind, and I create a false reality. I make myself believe that someone thinks a certain thing about me when who knows if that assumption is actually true or not. This is such a waste of time. But so easy to do.

Despite knowing these things, (don't make assumptions, don't take things personally...) consistently putting them into practice is the hard part. I can go a while doing well at this, but sometimes I lose my way and forget for a while. But maybe that's what life is about. We learn these things early(ish) on in life, and we spend our lives striving for that peace of mind. When we lose our way, that's just part of life. And it's different things for different people. I get stuck in different funks than the next person. I think it's how we come out of these things and make the realizations and the effort to do better next time is what defines us as who we are. And in the words of Miley Cyrus, that's pretty cool.

So I could beat myself up for having a semi-crappy semester, but that would just be counter-productive. The best way to come out of this is to turn things around for myself. And it's good timing, too now that I have a little over 2 weeks left in the semester. It's time to do things for me and to let go of past assumptions, experiences, etc. It's never to late to start fresh.

Sorry this post wasn't necessarily humorous. I have a deep side, too.

namaste,
elise