Love and Other Strugs

Something I rarely (or never) blog about is relationships. Dating, boys, love, etc. Mostly because I don't want to involve/write about another person too much where it could get awkward. I guess I could create a "Big" or whatever but I'm pretty sure that person would catch on eventually. Who knows, I might be the next Carrie Bradshaw, but for right now I'll leave out other people in order to avoid calling out dudes for being douchebags before I have any credibility like Ms Bradshaw. Plus that can be kind of tacky, don't you think? So this is my first installment of Love and Other Strugs.

In that case, I'll write a few blog posts about how I deal with this whole dating thing and everything in between. And as you can assume, like in many other areas, I can be a total strug in this department. I'm getting better, but it's a process. Like my whole talking problem. That can be annoying on dates. When I'm nervous or feel unsure I point out random things, like "Wow, that is just a really tall tree". Elise, no one cares about that tree.

Dating hasn't always been very high on the priority list. In college I was so busy that by the time Friday night rolled around I'd pass out on my couch while catching up on 30 Rock. When I get really committed to one thing and it makes focusing energy on other areas really difficult. In the past year my efforts toward a better balance in my life improved. Like when Liz Lemon realized that if she put as much effort into her work life as she did her personal life then maybe things would improve. That's me.

Something I've learned about myself is that I used to have this view on dating that was a little immature (for lack of a better word). Games, to be more specific. A lot of girls right now have this fear of coming off as desperate or clingy, so they try their best not to appear that way. That can carry out in lots of different ways. A lot of the time though it can make it look like the girl is not interested at all and can be very misleading. I think girls need to let go of this fear, because trying to play these games is just another way to make communication confusing and difficult. Take me for instance, clingy or desperate are probably the last words anyone who knows me would use to describe me. I'm usually described as strangely independent. So if any dude accuses me of those things, they're just afraid of commitment or something because I am anything but that. And if you are a desperate or clingy girl, maybe you should work on gaining some independence before you continue dating. And dudes, if you are so afraid of something that may appear "clingy" then maybe you should just be single. If a girl likes you, she will call or text you. That's normal. If it freaks you out and you think she's in love with you engraving your initials into the oak tree in your front yard, get over yourself.

So girls, here is my point of view. In terms of games, I think playing semi-hard to get is okay, but that's about as far as it goes. But desperation isn't very attractive. It's a fine line. If you really want to find someone, focus on yourself and the rest will follow. If someone asks you out and you like him, say yes. And if you don't like him, say no. Don't lead him on. That's mean. If someone did the same to you, you'd be pissed, so be nice enough to save him the pain.

Those are my first two cents. I have a lot of cents on this topic, so more will follow. And there are plenty of things I'd like to tell the general male population, although I'm pretty sure 95% of my male readers are gay or my dad. So if you've got some straight dude friends, tell them to read this and they will be enlightened. I'm not just some crazy chick ranting on dudes who screwed me over, I'm semi-sane offering advice from someone who has their head on straight.

namaste,
elise