As the first of February has been drawing closer and closer, I've had more and more people say to me (in so many words):
"So, you're moving to New York?"
Which is (unless the person already knows me) usually followed by:
Still, I don't know if I've really mastered the best answer to this question. I've come to realize, it doesn't really matter if I phrase it perfectly, cause the reaction I'm going to get is going to be pretty different from every person I talk to. For the people who know me well, they don't really need to ask me why I'm moving to New York. Or for those who knew me in high school they'll say "Oh cool, so you're still doing the whole acting thing". My usual answer (in so many words) is, "Well, I studied theatre in college and I'm moving up there to audition and do the whole acting thing". I always feel the need to justify it with-I studied it in school, it's not like I'm running off to join the circus. I'm always so wary of the response I'm going to get. Thankfully most of the responses have been generally positive.
I never really realized that it takes a lot of guts to move to New York City. It's always been on the horizon, along with a lot of other things, so I never thought of it as balls-y. It was next on the to do list for a lot of my friends I graduated with, so it just seemed like the next step. But recently it's been pointed out to me by many people that it's kind of a big deal. And I guess it is. I guess a lot of the things that I have done in my life and that I want to do take a considerable amount of balls. I've never thought of myself as a huge risk taker, really. But maybe I have more potential for risk taking than I thought. I'm going to a place where a lot of people have a lot of balls, (ok I know…enough with the balls) so I guess I'll just have to find my edge to help me stick out.
It is really exciting though. It very literally does feel like I'm starting a brand new chapter. I'm getting all of my ducks in a row before I fly out next week, and let me tell you-I should move more often. I don't think I've been this organized or proactive since I got home. I love actually checking things off my to-do list. But that productivity is really what I'm going to need to keep going when I move up there, so really I'm just getting started.
This move has got me thinking a lot about success, and what exactly that means. My friend Nathan wrote about this on his blog, and along with that and the whole "So you're moving to New York?" thing has got me thinking a lot about it. When people ask me where I see myself in five years, I say "I have no idea". Four years ago that would have never been my answer. To 18 year old me, that answer is a sign of weakness, like I don't have goals or anything. But now, "I have no idea" doesn't mean that at all. Right now I'm at a place in my life where all I really need to do is open myself up to opportunities and keep all of my options open. I can see my life and my career going so many ways and in so many directions that now is the time to let myself figure it out by not limiting myself. What it's really about now is pushing myself to be able to take those risks. So essentially, if I go about things like that, I will undoubtedly accomplish something. Success in some shape or form is the goal. But that can be defined in so many ways. And I think I'll know what it is when I get there.
So as I'm finishing up my final week in Atlanta and at work, I'm really just trying to take everything in. I could have gone straight to New York right after I graduated, and I'm really glad that I didn't. After I graduated, I really needed to do things the "Elise" way, and that was to go home and reflect. And that's what I did. It wasn't what I expected, but I got out of it what I really needed to. And now I'm ready to move on. I'm still going to keep doing things the "Elise" way, though. That's not gonna change.